Is Your Relationship Affecting Your Mental Health? 5 Signs to Watch For

Relationships, whether familial, platonic, or romantic, require the active participation of both parties toward mutual, beneficial goals. Unfortunately, not all relationships accomplish this, and the result can harm your mental health.

At the offices of board-certified anesthesiologist Dr. Michael Kullman, our experienced team takes mental health seriously and wants you to understand how to identify when relationships are harming you. Here, the team shares five signs to watch for that indicate your relationship is affecting your mental health.

The chicken or the egg

When it comes to stress and distress, an important question to ask is whether relationship distress causes mental illness or whether mental illness causes relationship stress.

Previous longitudinal research suggests it’s usually relationship difficulties that lead to mental health problems. For example, one study found that, initially, non-depressed participants who were in stressful relationships were nearly three times more likely than those in happy relationships to become depressed.

Both genes and a person’s environment likely contribute to romantic conflict and mental health issues. It may also be that biological influences on mental illness can prove weaker or stronger depending on how much distress and conflict one experiences in the relationship.

5 signs to watch for in a relationship that can affect your mental health

Effective communication is key to a good relationship. Behaviors that destabilize that communication can lead to mental health problems. Here are five examples.

1 and 2. Ghosting and gaslighting (ghostlighting)

Ghostlighting is a combination of ghosting (vanishing without explanation) with gaslighting (making you question your reality). It happens when your partner disappears for long periods of time without any explanation and then returns as if nothing’s happened, while at the same time making you feel crazy for asking where they went.

When this happens, you begin to question your own judgment: Am I overreacting? Did I just mishear what they said? The situation keeps you off-balance and less likely to call out the person for inappropriate behavior.

3. Situationships

Your partner may acknowledge your relationship when you’re at home, but they won’t commit to plans, and they refuse to acknowledge your relationship in public.

If you’re in a situationship, your partner keeps most things vague, usually because they fear being committed. By refusing to commit, they protect their vulnerability, and they claim your need for clarity is evidence of your own insecurity.

4. Passive aggression

Passive-aggressive people indirectly express their feelings, often claiming that everything’s okay, especially with you, while meaning the exact opposite. Although the information may seem productive on the surface, it often covers up frustration, anger, or resentment. The behavior can lead to tension and conflict in a relationship and make you feel ashamed or worthless.

5. Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing involves your partner giving you just enough encouragement to keep you wanting more, but then they disappear or fail to follow through on plans, leaving you to wonder what you’ve done wrong and crashing your self-esteem.

Common in the early stages of relationships, breadcrumbing reveals a potentially controlling nature, prevents a healthy and genuine connection, and doesn’t allow you to assess whether you’re truly compatible with the person.

If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, stress, or trauma from a relationship, the office of Dr. Michael Kullman can help. To schedule a consultation, call our office at 914-465-2882 or visit our website for more options.